Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
