he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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