3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
