So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I know her cup size but not her name....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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