So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
