too bad you live with your parents still
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
