So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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