is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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