i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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