she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We are all done wearing pants today
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
