She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dick very happy bro
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
