I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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