Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
no you cant smoke seaweed
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
