Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize