is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize