Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize