Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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