Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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