And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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