If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize