i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
