I only kidnapped one of them. chill
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
