I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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