i permit you to call me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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