Duck Duck Cougar?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
