dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
