I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize