What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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