it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This baby is an asshole
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
