love makes seman taste better
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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