Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
