what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
