there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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