Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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