Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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