I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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