we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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