we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There was a lot of him and a little penis
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
