; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
