We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
