how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
