Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It was like giving head to a cactus.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
