worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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