There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
