The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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