I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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