Define "chronic" masturbator.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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