dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
