hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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