Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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