Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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