do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
