Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
