I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
