wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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