We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
