a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
