did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
